Six steps to not losing your mind (completely)

Trauma isn’t neat. It’s messy, confusing, and sometimes it feels like it hides in plain sight, especially in places you’re supposed to feel safe. Healing from trauma, especially sexual violence, isn’t some quick fix or a straight line. It’s a whole journey that everyone experiences differently, but there are some things I’ve learned on my own healing journey.

1. Calling It What It Is

Name it! say what happened to you, even if its in your head. I know it’s hard, maybe the hardest part. But trauma feeds on silence and shame. You don’t have to tell everyone, you don’t even have to tell anyone but yourself, but recognising the wound is where healing begins.

2. Finding Your comfort

Everyone wants to help, but not everyone can. It’s about finding the right people who listen without judging, who don’t rush you, who don’t make it about them. Sometimes that’s a friend, sometimes a professional, sometimes a stranger on the internet who’s been through it too.

3. Playing the System Game

Police can be a nightmare to deal with. Reporting is recommended, but it often feels like you’re walking through a maze that’s designed to confuse and exhaust you. Some places actually care and try to help. Others? They’re more worried about their image and money. Knowing your options and what feels safe for you is powerful. Sometimes that means reporting; sometimes it means not, and that’s okay too.

4. Holding Feelings

Healing is a rollercoaster of grief, anger, guilt, and sometimes hope. Guilt is one of the worst enemies, making you think it was your fault. The biggest lesson youll learn is to shut it out, the guilt isn't real! Recognising that guilt isn’t your truth is a big step. Letting yourself feel everything without shame or judgment is part of healing.

5. Rebuilding Yourself, One Piece at a Time

Trauma messes with how you see yourself, every part of you feels different. Healing means slowly finding your way back to who you are beyond what happened. You don’t have to be polished or perfect. You can be raw, broken, angry, and still be healing. Strength doesn’t mean you don’t crack; it means you keep going even when you do.

6. Breaking the Silence, Changing the Culture

Healing isn’t just about individuals. It’s about starting conversations, sharing stories when you’re ready, and calling out the systems and cultures that allow this to happen. There’s still a long way to go before society catch up.