What it means to listen: my conversation with a former Samaritans volunteer

In a world full of noise, finding someone to listen can be rare, and can even feel powerful. I've always been very lucky in regards to support, friends and family were always on hand to listen, but sometimes it can be tough letting someone you know listen to you, sometimes it feels better to talk to someone you don't even know. Support groups can be a good way to talk if you don't want to tell anyone around you. Samaritans is a great charity that are available to talk whenever you need it. The charity specialise in support for depression and suicidal thoughts, they are known from preventing suicide through the power of human connection. I was interested in finding out more about the volunteers with this gift, so I spoke to a former volunteer to find out what motivated her to get involved.

Q: Why did you want to volunteer for the Samaritans, what inspired you to get involved?

A: I had actually applied the year before I got accepted, they were over subscribed so I was waitlisted. I mainly wanted to volunteer as a listener before as I had used the service before. I knew how hard it was to have trust in a stranger and walk away feeling better, even it was just a little better.

Q: How important is just listening when someone would reach out for help?

A: When you listen to someone, you get transported into their world. My mentor once told me; its not about pulling someone out of their hole, it's about climbing in with them. The silence is quite unnatural at first, all you want to do is tell them it's okay, but sometimes it's not okay, and that's valid.

Q: Are there any common misconceptions about mental health that you wish more people understood?

A: A general misconception is that the people who use these services are lying or weak, also thinking you're not worthy of someone to listen. This is not the case! Neither of these are true! You are always worthy, your experiences are valid and we are here to listen and be here for you!

Q: what advice would you give to someone who's thinking of reaching out for help but feels nervous or unsure?

A: If you feel comfortable phoning and can't speak thats fine, someone will wait with you until you can. There are options like SHOUT which is a texting platform where you can still be heard, this may be more accessible to more people! The end goal is feeling safe enough to unravel some of your thoughts and give you some breathing space, if you dont like it, then at least you tried

Q: What messages would you want to give to survivors or anyonegoing through a tough time right now?

A: I won’t lie, tough times are shit! And no one can say, “this will get easier” with full truth and confidence, cause sometimes it gets worse, sometimes it’s better, and some days it can be both! But what I can say is, one day the bad times won’t sting as bad. Thinking of my own experiences where I was assaulted in the past, it took me along time to find what I was comfortable with, whom I could trust and have safe spaces to take time out for me. Luckily my support network was extremely supportive and always listened. If you’re uncomfortable telling friends or family about your experiences I would recommend forums like unmute. To give yourself a platform and find solace with others who have had similar experiences. Sometimes the 'weird' coping mechanisms is what connects you.